Sun....you horrible beast

Well, my GD test came back with surprising results. I'm not diabetic. I'm actually hypoglycemic. I had always had a suspicion that I was, but never worried about getting tested because I had it easily under control. So, everything is fine and I still get all of the sweet tea I want :) Life has been pretty good for me and the little runt so far.

Then, during the beginning of last week I formed a small rash on my hand that would come and go. It began to get worse at random times during the day so I watched carefully to see what I was doing in the hours and minutes before it would appear. It often goes away, but every time it returns it is worse than the last time....I do not enjoy it. I have actually found the root cause of the rash....the sun. I could be in the sun for as little as 15 minutes and the rash worsens and spreads across my arm and chest. After some research done by my caring husband and speaking with my doctor, we now have a name. Polymorphic Light Eruption Disorder (PMLE) is an allergy to the sun that most commonly develops in women in their early 20's. It usually affects women who easily burn when exposed to the sun, so it shocked me when I found out that is what I have. I don't burn.....ever. I have had two sunburns that I know of in my life and now I can't even go outside long enough to get a tan line! Although I would love to think that it will go away after the baby is born, I have found no information to support this. There is no cure and it will most likely reappear every year until it randomly decides to stop. I am pretty happy that it doesn't hurt the baby, but pretty upset that it may come back every year. If I stay out of the sun, it stays away. The problem with that is that the baby will grow into a little toddler. The toddler into a child. The child will most likely have softball, soccer, swimming and many other outdoor activities on her mind. I want her to be very active, but I am very upset there is a possibility I won't be around to see it. Instead, I will be sitting at home. That is not okay with me. So, the question is: Is the pain and itching worth being there for my little girl? Ummm....YES!

In other news, we find out in 2 days what my mother is having! I am so excited to find out if Keeley will have another aunt or a new uncle! On the plus side, if she has an uncle, we get all of the cute clothes that her Aunt Rebekah wore! That kid always had the cutest outfits so fingers crossed its a boy! Then again, the odds of that are pretty slim! My parents already have four girls and sperm dies sooner as the male grows older. Since male sperm already dies before female sperm, the odds of a female reaching the egg first become greater. So, I'm thinking I will have yet another baby sister :)

Stress must mean good parenting....

The baby shower for Keeley was an amazing success! It got rid of all of my stress about making sure she has everything. She has everything she needs and now we have moved on to setting up her nursery. For the last week, all her room has been filled with piles and piles of stuff that has yet to be put away. After the baby shower, my husband and I spent some time shopping around on Amazon looking for a few of the bigger items that we REALLY wanted. Yes, I know I don't NEED a glider and ottoman, but it is one thing I have been adamant about having since I was 15. On amazon, we purchased $650 worth of stuff from the registry for less than the cost of the glider and ottoman I had originally registered for. Ummm....yes please! Then, we spent the entire day after shopping and enjoying ourselves. We went out and bought most of the remaining things for her. There are still some small things to pick up, but for the most part we have everything we need in case she decides to show up a little early. I really hope she doesn't, but both sides of our family have a history of premature birth. So, just in case, I am going to make sure her room is ready as soon as possible.

Anyways, with the stress of that over with, it would be wrong of the universe not to drop something else, right? Then again, I guess stressing about her is just part of being a good parent. If I didn't worry about her health, safety, and wants, I wouldn't be ready for her. I guess it just means I am becoming her mother.

However, I did get some not-so-great news. I failed my one-hour glucose test. This was another test I had heard many many horror stories about. How horrible the orange stuff tastes, how boring it is, etc. So, I decided I wasn't going to taste it. Just get it down as fast as possible and don't think about anything else. 45 seconds later, I just had to sit there. I took my phone with and played a game for an hour. Simple. The three hour test on the other hand.....ugh...

You have to fast for 12 hours, which seems fine for most people. I have never been able to go that long without eating. Once I get hungry I need food or I will start to vomit. It gets even worse when I am pregnant. With my first pregnancy, I always had some sort of food with me. Hell, on my wedding day I made my maid of honor walk down the aisle with her little bag stuffed with saltines.

So, you fast, hopefully make it to the lab, and then they stick you. While you are sitting there super hungry, you have to try to once again chug the nasty orange stuff. Some advice, it may taste horrible, but do it SLOWLY if you are already feeling hungry, weak, nauseous, or even just a little "off". I started chugging just like the first time, and I nearly threw up as soon as it hit my stomach. After not eating, the sugar can be a HUGE shock to your body and you will try to reject it. If you throw up, you get sent home and cannot complete the test.

As I sit here and wait for the results, it makes me realize how much this could change my pregnancy. Obviously, I need to follow a specific diet to make sure that Keeley is healthy. There is also all of the AMAZING food I will have to give up. It could also create difficulties with my job. Of course, I know that they will have to make certain exceptions, but it will still be a pain. Not to mention, my husband just doesn't get it. I love that man to death, but he doesn't seem to realize how much this could change everything as far as how I take care of myself. I know it could be worse and I know I can do it, but it doesn't make me worry about it any less. I mean, I have enough to worry about! Why does anyone need to worry about their blood sugar on top of everything else?!

There is nothing I can do to change it, and I will accept the results no matter how they come. I will do whatever it takes to make sure this little girl gets here and is as healthy as I can possibly make her. However, I can't help but wonder....why does everyone else that I know (I know about 9 others that are pregnant) seem to have no problems at all? I have to take more medicine now that I am pregnant, I have heartburn all the time despite my prescription pills, I am RH negative, AND I may have GD. I know my pregnancy could be A LOT worse, but the little green monster in me knows it could also be A LOT easier. As long as Keeley is okay, I will suffer.

The guessing begins!

I have been extremely stressed about the baby shower lately. I'm not really sure why, but I want everything to be perfect. I'm not even planning it! I have been watching my registry like a hawk and have a list of everything we would need to buy if not given to us. The total comes to a little over $1800, which my husband and I have in savings waiting specifically for our little girl. So, why am I stressed? Who knows...Nothing was really taken off of my registry and the shower is in 4 days! I have been freaking out about it! I know the stress doesn't make sense, but I just want everything to be perfect and amazing for this little runt. I KNOW there will be plenty of people that will be at the shower to support us. I KNOW everything will be fine even if we have to go buy everything ourselves. However, I can't seem to calm down.

Anyways, I checked my registry before I went into work at about 1:30, and nothing had changed. I called my husband during lunch and he told me how many things had suddenly been purchased. He got home from work at about 4:30 and waiting for him were a few shopping bags. Well, more than a few. There was over $300 in items purchased and left at our door. I asked who all of it was from and he said he hadn't opened the card! I told him to open it so I could call and thank the person, but when he opened the card all it said was "We hope you and Keeley enjoy these things". That's it. No name. No hints. No anything. We have absolutely no idea who gave us such an amazing gift. I mean, this brought so much relief because I now know that it will be okay, but I have no way to thank who did it! The handwriting looks familiar, but I honestly can't place it! I know whoever did this has remained anonymous for a reason, but I REALLY REALLY just want to thank them!

Honestly, I have a sneaking suspicion that my grandpa sent one of my aunts to the store with some money and had them do it on his behalf (my grandpa does not drive, never shops, and definitely does not do baby stuff). My family has done things like this many many times for one another or for others so I'm pretty sure it was someone in my family. Plus, my grandpa has always spoiled me. I mean, ALWAYS. I have never not gotten my way when it comes to him. He is very old school. My father is his first son. I am the first born of that son. Therefore, I have a special birthright. Also, when growing up I spent EVERYDAY at his house. No joke. Every single day we went for at least an hour. He believes that because I am so close to him (he is the one man I would turn to no matter what-like when my car got towed and I needed money to get it out until payday, but couldn't ask my father because I wasn't supposed to be where I was) he will give me everything he can because I have earned it by being there for him. I understand this. I mean, I already want to give Keeley everything! Sometimes, he frustrates me with how much he gives! After we got our new car my husband decided that since it could haul a boat, we needed a boat. I thought we should hold off, but would consider it if we found a good deal. I now have a boat sitting in my driveway because my grandpa GAVE it to us! A BOAT!

Anyways, back to the point....

Whoever did it, than you. It means so much that you are willing to surprise Keeley before she is even here! I will be sure to tell her about it numerous times so that she knows that the world is generous and that she must also be generous. She will also be part of when we give to others. I have done this before (I actually snuck into the house and dropped the gifts by the tree), and the next time we do it she will surely be involved. She will get to experience the adrenaline of not getting caught, and knowing that she did something great for someone without needing to be thanked. She will know what it feels like to watch their pure joy while they wonder what they ever did to deserve such a thing. And that is the amazing thing about giving gifts anonymously, they didn't have to do anything to deserve it. It is pure love. And that pure love is what makes all of my stress melt away. Somewhere out there, someone loves this little girl enough to do something for her that she can never repay. Something that my husband and I can never repay. Something that simply says we are loved.

My pregnancy rant....

Lately, the hormones must be going crazy because I feel like I am going crazy! There is a ton on my mind (I do have a child to plan for after all) and every little thing seems to be stressing me out. Some things more than others, and some things that make me just want to scream at people.

I am 23 and pregnant. I am NOT some girl that doesn't know the father, had an accident, or was just stupid. I'm not saying these children are loved any less, don't get me wrong. I am, however, saying that I am not like everyone else so people need to stop looking at me like I'm some knocked up teenage girl that should have used protection. My husband and I had specific goals set in place before we even decided trying. We never had the "if it happens it happens" attitude because we wanted to make sure we had completed these goals. I have been married for 4 years and I believe we know each other very well for that amount of time. We are passed the honeymoon phase and we had plenty of time to just be US. We have done our work to get to where we are. We got married, we got the house, we got the cars we wanted, we learned more and more about each other and how to handle certain situations, we learned (somewhat) how to handle our finances and we met our savings goal. All before we started trying for a child. I am not one of those that had an accident and has to suffer the rest of my life because I have to sacrifice nights out. I sacrificed those a LONG time ago. They never really appealed to me and I feel my time can be better used at home. I'm not saying I never go out, but I'm not giving anything up either. People keep looking at me with pity in their eyes as though my life is over. It is just beginning! I have wanted this for years, and I have worked my butt off to make sure we brought this child into the best situation we could. I just can't stand how people look at me when they find out I am pregnant. The "I'm so sorry your life will never be the same" look. I know my life will never be the same. That was the plan all along.

ITS THINGS LIKE THIS THAT INFLUENCE THOSE 'PITY LOOKS'

Again, I'm not saying my child is loved any more than others or that I am a better person than others because I was careful. I am simply saying people need to wipe that stupid look off their faces and understand that not every young mother is a statistic. Some young mothers out there actually wanted to be young mothers. You have no idea what their life plan is, so stop assuming you do. Don't assume that just because she is young, pregnant, and married, that she got married simply because of the pregnancy. Don't assume that she doesn't want this child. Don't assume she doesn't know the father. Don't assume it was some drunken night out. Don't sit there and look at any young mother like you are better than her. Sure, her pregnancy may have been an accident, but as long as she is a good mother, why does it concern you how young she is?
People need to stop judging young mothers like they are all some sad story. Yes, Teen Mom does a fantastic job of showing all of the drama that COULD come along with being young and pregnant, but there is a reason they only choose 4 girls to be on each series.....those are the 4 with the highest public ratings. Those, however, are not the 4 that accurately represent the entire population of young moms.

Holy Hormonal....

So, I have made it this far in my pregnancy (23.5 weeks) pretty much unscathed. I had some MAJOR issues with heartburn, which led to throwing up stomach acid, which led to an upper respiratory infection. Other than that, I have had no issues. I have no food turn offs, minor cravings, and very little aches. I also had not experienced the mood swings everyone talks about....until last night.

Last night at around midnight, my husband and I were about to head to bed when I decided I NEEDED a brownie. I didn't just want this brownie, I NEEDED it. I asked him to make me some, but he said no. He explained that it was WAY too late to be making brownies and he needed to get to bed. This was very logical....to him. I had just gotten off of work and was tired, but he said I could feel free to make them. I told him I just got off work and I didn't want to. Why should I when he had been sitting around for hours? He explained he had worked earlier, so my job wasn't an excuse. I told him he was right, but he didn't have to carry this child around while working all day. I did and therefore, he should make me brownies. Crazy right? Oh...it only gets better.

While in this lighthearted back and forth with my dear husband, I suddenly became very upset that he didn't understand what I was going through and how badly I needed this brownie. I began crying because he just didn't get it and it seemed like he never would. As I sat there and cried about this brownie that would never be mine, I couldn't stop laughing as well. Why? Logically, I knew how stupid it was to cry over a brownie. I knew I was acting like a child and I knew that I should stop. Emotionally, I felt like my world was going to end because my brownie would never be mine. I knew I needed to stop acting so foolish, but I could not stop it!

So, I sat there on the couch crying because I was sad, and laughing at the exact same time because of how I looked. MY POOR POOR HUSBAND! He even offered to run to the gas station to get me a brownie! I cried even more because I didn't want a brownie with frosting!

Oh, the joys of being pregnant! Even now, 24 hours later and clear minded, I have no idea why I was crying. I laugh about it, but geeze....what was going on with me?

After I thought it was all over with and I was back to "normal", I was playing with my dog and started crying.  I love this dog more than any dog I have ever owned, and he is one of the most gentle giants I have ever been around. He is and always will be my baby. He was my first "kid". He is part black lab and part great dane. Which, in case you didn't know, means he is HUGE.

Atreyu loves to listen to the baby and always lays with his ear on my stomach :)

Anyways, as I played with my darling puppy, I started crying. All I could think was that one day my dog would no longer be around. I couldn't stop crying because one day (probably a while from now) my 2 year old dog would die. I AM GOING CRAZY!!!! Now, I feel like I am losing my mind! I see the smallest thing and I cry for no reason! I saw the end of one of those "save the abused animals" commercials, and it made me cry! Not only, did I cry, but I tried to convince my coworkers that we needed to adopt 5 kittens/dogs each.

I have no idea how to explain these feelings, all I know is that I have NEVER been so confused in my life! I have never sat there and laughed WHILE I cried because I was sad. This defies all science. Men will never understand it. You ARE in fact going crazy, but it isn't your fault. Unless, you aren't pregnant. In that case, see your doctor.

Registering for the little one

Everyone says registering for the baby is supposed to be this awesome fun time that every parent loves. Who decided that? Not only did I just want it over with, but it stressed me out beyond belief. Just thinking about the registry drove me absolutely crazy and would keep me up at night. I was so stressed that when I would go online to look at what all we needed, I would start crying. I'm still not sure why this happened. My husband and I are by no means rich, but we have been saving for quite some time and we can afford the necessities for our little girl. I wasn't worried about registering for every single little thing because I could always send someone to pick up the item or go grab it myself. So, why the stress? I think a lot of it was being overwhelmed by so many options. What type of crib do you need? What kind of play pen? What kind of bottles? What kind of clothes? Keep in mind, this is my first child and I will surely learn some lessons the hard way, but I have been there when my mother raised my last two siblings and she made sure I learned A TON.

First things first, pick what you like. For the bigger items do some research and register what you feel comfortable with. Target and Babies 'R' Us both offer reviews of the products they offer online along with little facts that are not mentioned in store. How much weight can your play pen hold? What makes this bottle different from that bottle? How easy is this stroller to fold?

Second, I recommend registering in store. A lot of people are going to get last minute gifts, not want to pay S&H, or not even know how to shop on the store website (shocking...I know). Plus, in store you get a better idea of what the product is really like. In Babies 'R' Us, you are encouraged to take the car seats off of the shelf and play with them, fold up the strollers, see what is easiest for you, and they will make sure you are entirely comfortable with the way it works. This was SUPER helpful since I went in with two travel systems in mind. My top pick was actually really difficult to fold up and unlatch the car seat from the base. The second one? AMAZING. It wasn't too heavy, it folded with the pull of one handle, and was really easy to unlatch from the base. I am so happy I messed around with them! I would have been struggling and fighting with a car seat and stroller for months just because it was cute.

Third, register for what you WANT not just what you NEED. Sure, its helpful when people get you what you need, but people are going to buy all of the cutesy stuff too. If you don't register for any, they will pick what they want and you may not like what you get.

Picking some things makes other things easier as well. Breastfeeding? Find a pump you like and most of the time the manufacturer also makes bottles and milk storage that fit best with that pump. Bam. Two birds, one stone.

I'm not going to give you a huge list of what you should register for. Simply walking through the store will take care of that. I did tons and tons of research on what to register for, but found that as soon as I walked into the store it was all right there. It was organized and right in front of me. I just had to walk down the aisle and by the time I walked out (without looking at my huge checklist) I had everything I needed, plus things my research hadn't shown me. These are just a few items I found at the store that I overlooked in all of the research.

• Orajel
• Grooming Kit
• Baby Wash
• Baby Lotion
• Towels
• Wash cloths
• Burp rags
• Receiving blankets
• Hats
• Bibs
• Diaper Genie (if someone else is buying it, why not?)
• Diaper bag
• DIAPERS a few newborn and a lot of size 1
• Wipes
• Breast pump
• Bottles
• Milk storage
• Supplies to make baby food (baby bullet, steamer, etc. Again, if someone else is buying it, having a baby bullet couldn't hurt)
• Nursing cover
• Lansinoh Soothies gel pads
• Bottle Nipples (one or two packs of different kinds and sizes...you don't know what your little one will like)
• Pacifiers
• Waterproof crib mattress covers

Honestly, I didn't register for many clothes. The biggest reason being I know people will buy tons of these anyways. Another reason is that my grandma works at a children's clothing store and has a discount. Which, she uses frequently for her great-grandchildren. Yet another, once my husband found out he was having a little "daddy's girl" I have had a very difficult time keeping him away from the clothes. 

Our crazy family AND baby #5!

My mother had me when she was very young. Despite the odds against her, she went on to college and got an amazing job. Shortly after I was born, her and my father got married. They didn't have much. Well, they didn't have anything really, but they gave up everything they wanted to get me what I needed. A little over a year after they got married, we brought my new little sister home. Our childhoods were great. We had devoted parents that sacrificed so much to give us everything. We were raised with morals and values, but still spoiled like crazy. Neither of us were planned, but my parents didn't care. They did what was needed to be sure we were okay. When I was 15, they sat my sister and I down and said they needed to speak with us. I jokingly thought they would tell us she was pregnant.

LITTLE SISTER #2!

In August we welcomed little Abbie into our home and I spoiled her like crazy!

In 2008, before I met my husband, my mom sent my friend and I 20 minutes away to pick up McDonald's at midnight. I joked that she was pregnant again....two days later she found out.

LITTLE SISTER #3!

September of 2008, Rebekah was born. She was actually too young to be a part of my wedding! She was not even 3 months old when I got married to the man of my dreams. 

My mom has been my rock with Keeley. Every time the smallest issue happened, I would call her right away and ask what I should do. So, I naturally told her about my appointments as well. I got done with one appointment and dropped Rebekah off at home. We were visiting for a while when Rebekah said "mommy took a test today!"

BABY #5!

My daughter is due July 10. My new younger sibling is due October 6! I don't think our family dynamic could become any stranger. My daughter will have an aunt/uncle that is actually 3 months younger and a school grade below her. I will have a sibling that is 24 years younger. My husband will have a new in-law at almost 30! I thought Rebekah was strange enough!

My parents are 41, I am 23, Sam is 19, Abbie is 8, Rebekah is 4 and a new one on the way!