Well, I am now 38 weeks and trying everything I can to get this little runt out! She is measuring larger than I had hoped which is pretty upsetting for me (we will chalk that one up to hormones). She is already almost 8 pounds and I REALLY don't want a c-section (I am really small so doc doesn't think I will be able to deliver much larger than that). I will fight my doctor to the very end (unless it is for her safety of course) to avoid having one. On the plus side, she is head down so that is one less reason I would need to have one. I know my husband is REALLY trying to be supportive, but saying things like "I understand" or "You aren't fat you're pregnant" kind of make me want to hit him. Sorry, he doesn't understand. He doesn't know what it feels like to know MY body will never be the same. He doesn't understand that after years of being big, I was finally skinny, and now I may never have that body back. He has always been rail thin and doesn't know what it feels like to go to the store and find out you need to go UP a size. He doesn't know what it feels like to FINALLY look good in a bikini and now have my body covered in *awesome* purple tiger stripes. Don't get me wrong, I knew all of this was a possibility and I accept it because I know she is worth it, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I WANT MY BODY BACK! I'm not complaining about my husband trying to support me, even if he doesn't understand. I just wish he could know how I feel. Just for a day. However, he is amazing at being a man going through my pregnancy. He does everything I ask, rubs my back whenever I have the slightest ache, lifts anything I ask, helps around the house, cooks dinner 85% of the time, lets me cry when I need to, puts up with my mood swings very well, goes on walks with me every night to get this runt out, and drives me wherever I need to go (my belly gets in the way of the steering wheel so it is difficult). I wouldn't want to go through this with anyone else.
At her last ultrasound, we saw her little feet and everyone said how cute they were. All I could focus on was that it looked like there were 6 toes. I'm hoping it was just because she was moving around and it was a blurred image, but what if it wasn't? I'm not going to love her any less, but I don't want her to feel insecure about anything in her life. I know once she gets older she will no matter what I do, but I don't want her to feel it earlier than she should. My sister had to deal with alopecia as a small child and I know it was really hard for her. They even made a special exception at school so she could wear hats. Even as a 5 year old kids would pick on her. I don't want that for my daughter.
On a good note, my sun allergy seems to have disappeared....for now. Doctors are in debate whether or not it will return, but all we can really do is wait and see. It could return next spring, or it could have been a weird pregnancy thing. Either way, no point in worrying about it now.
Also, I'M HAVING A BABY BROTHER! The first boy in our family is finally on his way!
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