Parenting is already hilarious (a few funny stories and things baby does)

The things my daughter does just crack me up. I want to remember them forever and I want her to be able to look back and know all of the little things she loved. So, here are a few.
As I have previously stated, my kid is a rock star at nursing. I, however, always need to be on my game when she latches on. She will eat and eat and usually fall asleep. She still nurses in her sleep so I leave her until she is done. She doesn't just release though. So, I gotta be ready. When she is full, she smiles. Although I LOVE her smiles, I do not like that she does it when her mouth is full. I get milk all over! She then laughs at this and then starts talking to herself. Never once waking up. Even at 3 a.m. sitting in the dark covered in milk, I can't help but laugh.

She loves the song "hush little baby". Its a song that promises rewards for being quiet. I hope she never figures this out....

She loves TV. She has no idea what she is watching, but she will watch it for as long as she can keep her eyes open.

When we unwrap her swaddler the first thing she does is shoot her arms in the air. She will be in a dead sleep, but as soon as those flaps open, the arms are up. Every. Single. Time.

She loves her Nana. Although my mom thinks its because she is awesome, I am positive it is because of my brother. She falls asleep across my mom's chest and as she sleeps, she slowly crawls down to my mom's stomach. She lays there and sleeps while josh (my brother) kicks away in the womb. I'm pretty sure this is her way of pissing him off before he even gets here. 

A few days ago we went out to eat and all of my sisters were there. My sister Sam hadn't seen baby girl since she was born and she came running to the car to greet her. While Sam was getting her out of the car seat, my sister Abbie watched over her shoulder. I look down and there is little Rebekah pushing Sam out of the way. Sam yelled at her to stop. Reba yells "move! I'm an aunt!". I couldn't stop laughing.

Another time, Reba was over at my house and I was changing baby girl's diaper. She always screams when this happens. I just let her scream until we are done and then I console her. Reba came over to the changing table and started rubbing her stomach. I heard her start talking, but it was nearly inaudible. I bent over and Reba (barely able to see over the changing table) was whispering "shhh...its okay. Your aunt is here. Shh...your aunt loves you." She is so sweet to her little niece.

Baby girl is also a little Houdini. We always wrap her tight in a swaddler for bed. Most nights I grab her and she has one hand sticking out of the top. Today, I wrapped her in one and put her down. When she woke up I went to get her and couldn't help but laugh. She pushed both of her arms down so they were under the flaps and was trying to raise them up. This bunched up the flaps around her shoulders. I came up to a screaming baby that was flailing the bottom half of her arms trying to get free. I would probably scream too if I had managed to get myself into that position.

She loves going outside. She could be screaming her head off and as soon as I open the door she is quiet. She just stares at everything and screams at the sky. My grandma (passed away in 2011) used to say babies spoke to angels. Maybe she was right.

Part of me can't wait to watch her grow and enjoy all of these funny moments (one day she can go through and read them), but another part wants her to stay a month old forever. I would be okay if it took her 18 years to turn 5. Since I can't stop time, I will enjoy what I have with her and thank god for every moment of it. I look forward to many more stories about my little runt :)

Everyone is a critic

Everyone keeps asking me questions about what I do with baby and then they criticize my answer or criticize what they see.
Someone (not naming names) was irritated that I let my daughter fall asleep with a pacifier in her mouth. Its so habit forming and blah blah blah....you know what? Pacifiers reduce the risk of SIDS by half. That is why she is ALLOWED one. Also, this kid was made to suck. She came out with a sucking blister. She never needed help latching. Its that or her hand.
Why don't you pump? Who cares if you miss a nursing session. I care. While breast milk is super healthy for baby no matter how they get it, the actual act of nursing reduces the risk of SIDS. It is thought to strengthen muscles in their throat and esophagus which helps them breathe better and combat the risks.
The same person also bashed me for having her sleep in our room in a bassinet (instead of our bed or her own). She sleeps in our room because this is also thought to reduce the risk of SIDS. She does not sleep in my bed because of the blankets, pillows, and soft mattress that are thought to increase the risk. Some believe it is beneficial to be close to the mother, but the known risks are too great for me.
I have also heard people groan about too much "mothering" when I say she will sleep in our room until 4 months old at the very least. Why? It all comes back to SIDS. The risk is greatest between 1 and 6 months while greatly decreasing after 4 months.
My aunt lost her son to SIDS and though I wasn't alive then, I can't imagine what she went through. Not just the loss, but think about it....someone had to find him after he passed. Could I handle finding my daughter that way? Hell no. Is it worth the risk to give in on any of these things? Not to me. Sure, its easier to have her sleep in my bed, but its worth getting up and putting her in the bassinet if it heightens the chances of us both waking up.
You may think differently and that is fine, but there is no need to complain about what I do with my kid. I will do everything in my power to make sure she isn't an entitled brat that walks around half naked. That is more than some people can say. So, unless your kid is perfect, don't complain about what I do with mine. I don't mind advice from family, but I don't need advice from a stranger who has a kid that everyone wants to smack. Thanks anyways.

My little bean pole!

Went to the doc today for baby girl's check up. Holy cow! She is in the 96th percentile for her length (she is really tall) and in the 42nd percentile for her weight (more skinny than average). No wonder we can't find clothes to fit this kid! She is so long she needs to wear 0-3 months and so skinny she needs preemie clothes! I don't know what to do with this girl! She is healthy though, and that is all that matters! We are so happy she is doing well! Love you baby girl!

Pickiest eater alive!!!

So, after a month of nursing like a champ my runt suddenly decided to stop latching, but only in the evening. I figured she was just too hungry to wait for let down so I would give her a bit of bottle and try again. All she would do is larch for a second or two and then scream. When I woke her up to eat, she did so without a problem. At night, no issues. I was at a loss and started to search the wonders of Google. After hours all I had found was stuff talking about a nursing strike (way too young for that) and other moms saying there was no way to fix the problem. I was about to give up when I came across a Yahoo! Answers post. The mom said she switched her body wash and it fixed the problem. My issue? I haven't switched my body wash. I was wracking my brain for what scents have changed. Then it hit me....I asked my husband to grab me some conditioner while he was out and he (being a man) grabbed the cheapest kind. That stuff smells like dial tastes (I had a mouth as a kid). I switched to my previous kind and it was like a total one-eighty. She hasn't had another issue since! The reason it was only in the evening? She is more awake then which means she is more in tune with her senses. She could smell it more at that time and refused to latch! I thought I knew some picky eaters, but this kid takes it to a whole new level!!!

Already????

Baby girl,
How are you four weeks old already? It seems like last week we were walking along the cornfields trying to get you out. Just thinking about how fast this month has gone makes me want to cry. I love you more than words can ever describe and you will always be my little girl. So, hang in there when I cry. Watching you grow is already the hardest yet most amazing thing in the world. No matter how big you get, you will always be that little girl that slept on my chest and laughed at my singing. I will always protect you like a crazy lady. Don't even get me started on your first boyfriend. We are gonna have a big family dinner when he comes to pick you up. Daddy and papa will be cleaning their guns while mommy and Nana dig a hole. He will treat you right, or we will all have a long night ahead of us. I will do my best to make sure no one ever hurts you and if somehow by sheer coincidence someone gets by me, they better hope the cops get them first. Even then, mommy will pay their bail. After all, the cops won't let me near them while they are locked up. Even when you are on your own, you can always come to me. You can always talk to me about anything. I may not like the conversation (sex for example), but I will always listen and be there for you. No matter how much I may hate it, I would rather you come to me than wind up pregnant before you are ready. My parents were the same. As you get older there will be rules you think are just meant to make your life hell, they aren't. They are because I have learned a few things in my life and I don't want you repeating them. I want you to go farther and do better than I ever did or will. I will make you earn things you want and I will be hard on you, but only because I don't want you to settle for anything less than amazing. Follow your dreams baby girl. Daddy and I will be here to help in any way you need. The only thing I want is for you to be happy. I would give my life to make that happen.
I love you more than anything in the world.
love,
Mom

When did couples stop being couples?

Seriously though....what happened to two people enjoying each other for a while before starting a family? It seems like today as soon as people get married they start having kids. What happened to vacations, the honeymoon year, the dating, and the spontaneity that is so much easier without children? Don't get me wrong, I was pregnant on my wedding day. With my husband deploying a month after our wedding I wasn't willing to risk not having the family I always wanted with the man I loved. Even if he died a hero. However, it didn't work that way. So, he came home safely and we took the chance to live a little. I love baby girl to death and would never giver her up, but it was great to have those last minute vacations before we had to buckle down. Now, its 18 years of planning. Although I don't mind, it was nice to have those random experiences with my husband. Now it seems like everyone is celebrating the birth of their child before or on their one year anniversary. After nearly 5 years of marriage I firmly believe marriage changes things and it takes time to adapt to those changes. The first year or two can be especially rocky. Hell, in 5 years I haven't learned everything about my husband. In 5 years we still haven't figured everything out (and never will I'm sure). In 5 years we had a lot of ups and downs that would have been a lot harder with the stress of a child. I'm not bashing anyone by any means....I'm just curious what ever happened to couples being couples....